The Holy Empire of Aargh is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Fjord Montgomery II with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, smutty television, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 1.897 billion Aarghalians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Administration, and Education are also considered important, while International Aid isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Orptal city. The average income tax rate is 77.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Aarghian economy, worth 303 trillion Aarghalian Moneyts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 160,115 Aarghalian Moneyts, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

The voyages of obsolete star-trekking satellites on deliberate escape orbits are only just beginning, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Aarghalians any less frightened, the vow 'til death do us part' is often taken as an invitation to murder, and modern readers say a story is worthless without hyperlinked footnotes and editable wiki format. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aargh's national animal is the Freg, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bonkism.

Aargh is ranked 41,688^th in the world and 115^th in The Kodiak Republic for Highest Food Quality, scoring 39.1 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.