The People's Republic of Alpinwald is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President Dietrich with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, state-planned economy, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cheerful population of 6.537 billion Alpinwaldians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Munich. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Alpinwaldian economy, worth a remarkable 1,028 trillion münzes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 157,390 münzes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Alpinwald as a reminder of their "special relationship", forty-year-old men are asked for their ID before watching the latest pony cartoon movies, it takes a village to catch a criminal, and doctors prescribe videos of political debates to patients with insomnia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alpinwald's national animal is the hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Alpinwald is ranked 82,188^th in the world and 105^th in The Leftist Assembly for Largest Populations, with 6.54 billion capita.