The Republic of Athaulphia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by the Council of the Republic with a fair hand, and remarkable for its anti-smoking policies, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 39.788 billion Athaulphics are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Athaulphópolis. The average income tax rate is 71.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Athaulphic economy, worth a remarkable 7,547 trillion patacoes a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 189,698 patacoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The Athaulphic Babysitters Club has proven to be a huge relief to stressed-out parents across the nation, it is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, the government is flooded with compensation requests, and voting is voluntary. Crime is totally unknown. Athaulphia's national animal is the periquito, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Athaulphia is ranked 285,932^nd in the world and 149^th in Portugal for Most Primitive, scoring -452.84 on the Scary Big Number Scale.