The Divine Intervention of Azaelai is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Dakota Vytherov with an iron fist, and notable for its parental licensing program, digital currency, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 13.095 billion Azaelaians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valerievna. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Azaelaian economy, worth a remarkable 1,659 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Furniture Restoration, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 126,689 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 435,387 per year while the poor average 27,032, a ratio of 16.1 to 1.

Family trees become bare as entire branches are lopped off, politicians always seem to take two steps forward then three steps back, jaywalking is punishable by public flogging, and the government raises tariffs on a weekly basis. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Azaelai's national animal is the black hawk, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Lynxism.

Azaelai is ranked 259,030^th in the world and 343^rd in The Black Hawks for Most Primitive, scoring -184.76 on the Scary Big Number Scale.