The Most Serene Republic of Battadia is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Hermann Schlott with an even hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.016 billion Battadians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saydt. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Battadian economy, worth a remarkable 1,660 trillion guiders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 236,669 guiders, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Frat-house partying has become the national pastime, the nation has an international reputation for compassion, bowling teams spend more time looking at their phones than the pins, and Hermann Schlott is famed for giving great back rubs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Battadia's national animal is the bee, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Battadia is ranked 6,921^st in the world and 7^th in The Kodiak Republic for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 10,932.08 on the Gilded Widget Scale.