The Colony of Behemoths is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its ban on automobiles, pith helmet sales, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 1.287 billion Behemoths are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The House of El Gato. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 40.5%.

The of Behemoth economy, worth 73.2 trillion Inches a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,892 Inches, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Children deemed 'disorderly' or otherwise unfit for public schools are shipped off to military academies, the government regularly reassures citizens that there are no monsters under their beds, putting a mustache on a banknote is considered defacing a national monument, and the government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Behemoths's national animal is the Behemoth, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Behemoths is ranked 117,546^th in the world and 173^rd in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 1,017.25 on the Gilded Widget Scale.