The Armed Republic of Chelonya is a very large, orderly nation, renowned for its irreverence towards religion, suspicion of poets, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 176 million Chelonyans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Healthcare, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 25.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Chelonyan economy, worth 11.0 trillion Unitaries a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 62,395 Unitaries, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Women who walk into the ladies' changing room are accused of being Peeping Toms, children's toy tractors have been seized as state property, the World Armed Republic Games have been won again by Chelonya as no other country cares enough to compete, and government popup ads are springing up like weeds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chelonya's national animal is the Capuchin Bison, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Chelonya is ranked 102,102^nd in the world and 212^th in Concord for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 1,355.29 on the Gilded Widget Scale.