The Empire of Elff is a massive, efficient nation, remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, triple-decker prams, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed population of 1.178 billion Elffians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 37.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Elffian economy, worth 126 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, broadly diversified black market in Uranium Mining, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 107,471 baht, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

Voting for pro-Bigtopian candidates is voluntary, only AIs know why the nation is rapidly increasing its semiconductor stockpile, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, and police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elff's national animal is the giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Elff is ranked 77,641^st in the world and 61^st in Hell for Lowest Crime Rates, with 69.01 law-abiding acts per hour.