The Federal Republic of Gyanistania is a huge, cultured nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The quiet, industrious population of 271 million Gyanistanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 66.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Gyanistanian economy, worth 10.5 trillion Gyans a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 38,817 Gyans, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations, vats of anabolic steroids are being dumped into the ocean to make Gyanistanian mussels the biggest in India, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation, and gardeners must genetically test weeds for unique traits before digging them up. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Gyanistania's national animal is the Gyanistanian Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Gyanistania is ranked 39,806^th in the world and 37^th in India for Safest, scoring 105.7 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.