The Republic of Kohlbeck is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed population of 1.381 billion Kohlbeckians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 40.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Kohlbeckian economy, worth 71.1 trillion US Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Furniture Restoration industry, with major contributions from Basket Weaving, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 51,475 US Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The government's official stance on religion is that it is so very silly, candidates for public office painstakingly research their family trees to ensure their eligibility, burning members of the Order of Violet is the nation's favorite pastime, and motorcycle riders are required to wear so much gear they've been nicknamed "Stay Pufts". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kohlbeck's national animal is the Dog , which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kohlbeck is ranked 41,325^th in the world and 9^th in Rocketopia for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 51.96 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.