The Imperium of Kyloenija is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Kallen Vinaa Hukst with an iron fist, and notable for its strictly enforced bedtime, pith helmet sales, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.749 billion Kyloenijans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Krin'genst. The average income tax rate is 80.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kyloenijan economy, worth 894 trillion Vektavs a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 91,754 Vektavs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The subway is dead quiet in early afternoons, the latest national park is visited by more sharks than people, a degree of self-hatred is vital for a future in politics, and the armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kyloenija's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Kallenist Judaism.

Kyloenija is ranked 13,409^th in the world and 2^nd in Zuid Afrika for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 8,617.09 on the Gilded Widget Scale.