The Holy Empire of Lagaronians is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Lagaronius Caesar with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 12.477 billion Lagaronians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kashashkamukashka. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Lagaroniansian economy, worth a remarkable 1,754 trillion Dinoes a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 140,625 Dinoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

One can wake up in Lagaronians and have breakfast in Bigtopia, people can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler', religious households enthusiastically use whips in private, and it is popularly believed that "cheese every day keeps disaster away". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lagaronians's national animal is the Dinosaur, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Caesar itself.

Lagaronians is ranked 30,185^th in the world and 4^th in Roma Invicta for Safest, scoring 108.93 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.