The Socialist Republic of Longdendale is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Longdendale Bauheim with an iron fist, and remarkable for its lack of airports, sprawling nuclear power plants, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.706 billion Longdendaleans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tintwistle. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Longdendalean economy, worth a remarkable 2,720 trillion Bottle Caps a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 173,184 Bottle Caps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Declaring that "some kids are just born evil" is not endearing Longdendale Bauheim to progressive thinkers, all fantasy fiction has officially been deemed non-canon, the police use sound cannons and mortars to deal with loud parties, and jaywalking is punishable by public flogging. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Longdendale's national animal is the Death Claw, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Spud.

Longdendale is ranked 1,289^th in the world and 1^st in United Kingdom for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 4,890.83 on the Clooney Contribution Index.