The United Socialist States of Monzolia is a very large, orderly nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 140 million Monzolians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 42.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Monzolian economy, worth 5.08 trillion Cipas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Woodchip Exports, Gambling, Uranium Mining, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 36,268 Cipas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, and extreme political groups are outlawed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Monzolia's national animal is the Monzolia Horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Monzolia is ranked 227,602^nd in the world and 351^st in Astoria for Highest Food Quality, scoring 9.5 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.