The Dictatorship of Nixonburg is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Richard Nixon with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 2.088 billion Nixonites are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Watergate. The average income tax rate is 66.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nixonburgian economy, worth 208 trillion Crooks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Tourism, Cheese Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 99,912 Crooks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Strange looking men with big red noses are found hiding behind bushes and inside dustbins, anyone who doesn't attend Official Governmental Religious Services is fined, children asking questions about science are referred to relevant sections in religious texts, and small children are frequently chased by rehabilitated pitbulls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nixonburg's national animal is the Gerald R Ford, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Resignation.

Nixonburg is ranked 231,298^th in the world and 664^th in Carcassonne for Safest, scoring 19.87 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.