The Republic of OffSpeed is a huge, safe nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-working population of 355 million OffSpeedians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 24.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The OffSpeedian economy, worth 20.0 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,287 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income, adults pretending to be teenage girls claim to have wholesome motives, washing-up liquid looks and smells like baby poo, and Pinkerton agents are called in to forcibly break up white collar strikes. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. OffSpeed's national animal is the Unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

OffSpeed is ranked 77,486^th in the world and 63^rd in Byzantion for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.99 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.