The Gestalt Consciousness of Oldmanzakk is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, ban on automobiles, and parental licensing program. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.913 billion Oldmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Industry, and Environment are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zetapolis. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Oldmanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,607 trillion Credits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 180,383 Credits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Leader's campaign events reach their climax when the celebrity endorsers reveal themselves, regional governors use national law books as toilet paper, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, and nobody looks each other in the eye at neighborhood block parties any more. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oldmanzakk's national animal is the Giant Oldmanian Koala, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Oldmanzakk is ranked 4,530^th in the world and 10^th in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Highest Food Quality, scoring 214.23 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.