The Empire of Patou is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Emperor Husnu II with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, ubiquitous missile silos, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 5.584 billion Patouans enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gaultier. The average income tax rate is 80.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Patouan economy, worth a remarkable 1,040 trillion Vionnets a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 186,340 Vionnets, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Terrorist videos start by thanking their sponsors, escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky, even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, and the nation has declared its intention to "stretch out". Crime is totally unknown. Patou's national animal is the Unicorn, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agintza Radiantism.

Patou is ranked 64,054^th in the world and 6^th in Aldorria for Safest, scoring 97.76 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.