The Federal Republic of Portolovia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Serenathe Megumi with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 4.763 billion Portolovs have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Napolizatseul. The average income tax rate is 89.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Portolovic economy, worth 535 trillion Portolov Yen a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 112,416 Portolov Yen, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

The military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it, the end of communism came with retail rather than revolution, and there's a literal nanny state for the legions of children taken by social services. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Portolovia's national animal is the Weed Smelling Praying Mantis, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Secular State.

Portolovia is ranked 21,831^st in the world and 477^th in the South Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.26 law-abiding acts per hour.