The Hallowed Kingdom of Santa-Barbara is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Baldwin IV with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, triple-decker prams, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.309 billion Santa-Barbarans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Samaria. The average income tax rate is 90.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Santa-Barbaran economy, worth 754 trillion Soliduses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Trout Farming. Average income is an impressive 175,092 Soliduses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People still need you and they still feed you when you're sixty-five, national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings, muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions, and students who refuse to pray are expelled from school. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Santa-Barbara's national animal is the Pangolin, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Santa-Barbara is ranked 47,877^th in the world and 69^th in Eurth for Most Cultured, scoring 72 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.