The United Socialist States of Sarmanov is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Gulina Yakovna with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 5.113 billion Sarmanovians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kopilev. The average income tax rate is 81.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Sarmanovian economy, worth 480 trillion Druans a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 93,942 Druans, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The wearing and manufacture of fur apparel is banned, stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend, citizens are barcoded to keep track of their movements, and diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sarmanov's national animal is the Black Bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Sarmanov is ranked 4,772^nd in the world and 88^th in The Leftist Assembly for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 2,799.75 on the Clooney Contribution Index.