The Samul Monarchy of Sartosz is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Sebastian Samul with an even hand, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, complete lack of prisons, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 2.79 billion Samulians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Samul. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 3.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Sartoszian economy, worth 630 trillion francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an amazing 225,972 francs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,010,313 per year while the poor average 3,447, a ratio of 583 to 1.

Commercial jingles have been ham-handedly forced into world renowned symphonies, ports have ground to a halt as no boat can reach them without trespassing, the CEO of Laws Incorporated must sign off on all new bills, and a popular Sartoszian saying is 'wishing upon a fallen jet engine'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Sartosz's national animal is the panther, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Saelianizm.

Sartosz is ranked 15,414^th in the world and 35^th in Eurth for Most Cultured, scoring 101 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.