The Empire of Schardonia is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its national health service, zero percent divorce rate, and aversion to nipples. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 550 million Schardonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jernov. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.1%.

The powerhouse Schardonian economy, worth 51.5 trillion Ingots a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Trout Farming, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 93,577 Ingots, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 289,384 per year while the poor average 23,329, a ratio of 12.4 to 1.

Economists claim no news is good news, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, interviewees for teaching jobs are waterboarded to "reveal undesirable histories", and boot polish is the favourite lip gloss of entry-level corporate workers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schardonia's national animal is the Armadillo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Schardonia is ranked 50,766^th in the world and 68^th in The Kodiak Republic for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 3,861.68 on the Gilded Widget Scale.