The United States of Simonation is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Ben Simon with an even hand, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, keen interest in outer space, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 41.491 billion Simonis have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Washington DC. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Simoni economy, worth a remarkable 4,994 trillion United States dollars a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 120,365 United States dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

In musicals everybody's a little bit racist, this summer's chart-toppers sound almost the same as last year's, parents often ask to see a credit report before lending money to their own children, and the navy's new flotilla is gonna be a thrilla. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Simonation's national animal is the bald eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Simonation is ranked 30,436^th in the world and 2^nd in Bigtopia for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 912.06 on the Clooney Contribution Index.