The Allied States of Simontopialandia is a massive, safe nation, notable for its irreverence towards religion and stringent health and safety legislation. The democratic population of 1.15 billion Simontopialandians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. The average income tax rate is 29.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Simontopialandian economy, worth 60.1 trillion Simonbucks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Soda Sales, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 52,269 Simonbucks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Dozens of viewers go online to hear whether a comma has been added to Clause 5 in Subsection B of Law 58375, Simontopialandia recently decided against having a capital city, religious turf wars have caused frustrated police to pray for divine intervention, and the military recognizes no difference between male and female soldiers. Crime is totally unknown. Simontopialandia's national animal is the Shoebill Stork, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Simontopialandia is ranked 115,587^th in the world and 83^rd in Crimson Spire for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 1,050.8 on the Gilded Widget Scale.