The Federal Republic of Smoothland is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Kelvin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, ubiquitous missile silos, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.538 billion Smoothlandics are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marcan. The average income tax rate is 73.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Smoothlandic economy, worth 147 trillion Øpars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Tourism, and Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 96,006 Øpars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People often get liposuction to reduce their air fares, the latest electric jet fighter has almost enough battery charge to reach cruising altitude -- provided you don't use the radar, ministers are now allowed to put suggestions in the governmental suggestion box, and the government has embraced apartheid. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Smoothland's national animal is the White Horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Smoothland is ranked 52,008^th in the world and 71^st in The Kodiak Republic for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 3,773.49 on the Gilded Widget Scale.