The Empire of Valcouria is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor Constantine I with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, hard-working, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 25.767 billion Valcourians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bainbridge. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Valcourian economy, worth an astonishing 10,363 trillion Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 402,188 Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 8.8 times as much as the poorest.

Statue-sitting has replaced the stake-out as the dullest form of police duty, students do more community service than homework, guide dogs for the blind have been seen using government websites, and labour strikes are routinely squashed by police. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valcouria's national animal is the White-tailed Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Valcouria is ranked 31,589^th in the world and 29^th in Anteria for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 5,497.87 on the Gilded Widget Scale.