The Fünftes Kaiserreich of Vordoslavia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Grand Kaiser Leopold the 1st with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, smutty television, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.818 billion Vordoslavians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Greater Talacomsta. The average income tax rate is 88.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Vordoslavian economy, worth 244 trillion Slawisch Marks a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Automobile Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 134,641 Slawisch Marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

Taking a walk on the wild side is punishable by death, a cyber-war between file sharers and the music industry formats hard drives across the country, unpackaged foodstuffs rot on store shelves, and bread-gangs raid restaurant waste bins to stockpile uneaten rolls. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Vordoslavia's national animal is the Griffin, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholic Teutonism.

Vordoslavia is ranked 22,548^th in the world and 10^th in Union of Christian Nations for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 6,697.65 on the Gilded Widget Scale.