The Socialist Republic of Zambique is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Comrade President Akinjide with a fair hand, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 17.118 billion Zambicans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Maputo. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Zambican economy, worth a remarkable 3,107 trillion Meticals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 181,532 Meticals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Red Cross demand for body bags is rising while sutures go unused, The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries, a flying elephant and Comrade President Akinjide share the same nickname, and mums always ask their three-year-olds for permission before hugging them. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zambique's national animal is the Nyala, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zambique is ranked 6,105^th in the world and 4^th in Africa for Highest Food Quality, scoring 193.57 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.