The Democratic States of Toin is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Eleanore Crew with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 15.803 billion Toinans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Whitelaw. The average income tax rate is 96.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Toinan economy, worth a remarkable 2,563 trillion toinan pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 162,218 toinan pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nationalistic national anthem inspires citizens to literally spit at foreigners, government officials sit helplessly as they are labelled 'Pompous Womples' by celebrities, out-of-work soldiers and bureaucrats can often be found camped out in front of manservant academies, and actively encouraging climate change is helping reduce winter fuel costs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Toin's national animal is the wandering albatross, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is not recognised.

Toin is ranked 3,188^th in the world and 1^st in Salis for Lowest Crime Rates, with 128.39 law-abiding acts per hour.