22
Dispatch → Bulletin → Opinion
by 
The State of Maas.
.
6 reads.
The Good Wonders
When the call went out that the WA is searching for the most miraculous wonders of the world, the people of Maas enthusiastically entered their beloved Crepe Maze into the competition. However, when the results came in and it was announced that the greatest wonder of the world is... a concrete slab, the nation was in dumbfounded. This initial confusion grew into an uproar of discontent, when it was announced that the Maase entry was ranked #522nd globally and had been beaten by "wonders" such as:- a big pile of rocks;
- a gay cat;
- a wall;
- a basement (includes a vague child-molesting joke);
- a banana;
- a dumpster behind Walmart;
- a radioactive waste dump;
- literally nothing;
- large mustache of a genocidal dictator (ranked 17th);
- over a hundred wonders of such low effort that they didn't change the default banner;
- half a dozen entries of unintelligible gibberish.
Outraged by this turn of events in what should've been a competition of awe and wits, the Maase Office for Culture and Heritage (MOCH) decided to review the top 1000 entries and compile a better list of the true wonders of the world. The list of notable wonders is as follows.
Category I - while the commission rejects the official list, it's still happy to congratulate nations of the Arctic and embassy regions that did better than Maas in the event:
1. Braag'miir Interstellar Spaceport and BBQ in 
Exxosia
2. East Mendelstahl Tower in 
Blaenavon
3. The Great Barrier in 
Bystopia
4. The Temple of Nekomimi in 
Making Catgirls Real
5. The World's Largest Potato in 
The Voltarum
Category II - The Five Natural Wonders of The World:
1. Great Stones of Moļo in 
Angwama
2. Little-Moose National Park in 
New Valdres
3. The Green-ish Lungs of Midterra in 
Midterra
4. The Tapestry of Endless Recursion in 
Umeria
5. Sloth Safary in 
Briantini
Category III - The Five Engineering Wonders of The World:
1. Nown Escarpment and associated Rangarst structures in 
Haeruba
2. Secularism Cube in 
Southern Caek Saimatertoutari
3. The Great Artificial Nistrian Reef in 
Nistriabar
4. The Singing Coast in 
Durius
5. Transcontinental Beer Pipeline by 
Claraxia
Category VI - The Five Architectural-Cultural Wonders of The World:
1. Great Bath of Mohenjo-daro in 
Mel-akkam
2. Imperial Temple of the Cult of Illumination and Union in 
The Marsupial Illuminati
3. The Grain Temples of Gorbulock in 
Winterwheat
4. The Iymian Walls in 
Tredonopolis
5. Trienta Botanical Garden in 
Jeltronia
Category V - The Five Scientific Wonders of The World:
1. Cure for VODAIS by 
Ballotonia
2. International Fusion Reactor in 
From New World
3. Rovimini Prehistoric Conservation Center in 
Gallicelestia
4. The Vault of Human Knowledge in 
Arstotzovo
5. Tsuki no Miyako by 
Hatsunia
Category VI - The Five Societal-Political Wonders of The World:
1. Graveyard of Tyranny in 
Anarco Argentina
2. Hymn of Oblought in 
Unshleepd
3. Statue of Bike Man in 
MountAye
4. Thirteens Rest in 
New Silvstrala
5. Vastiva Memorial Reflecting Pool by 
The World Assembly Elite
Category VII - A Literal Anti-Wonder That Can't Be Left Unmentioned:
1. Britain's Hall of Food Classics in 
Wan Nyan
The MOCH would like all mentioned nations to know that their wonders are noticed and appreciated.
