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Dispatch → Bulletin → News
by 
The Ironic and Iconic Banner of Weeklingz Federation.
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22 reads.
Weekly News (March 31 - April 6)
THIS WEEK IN EUROPEIAN NEWS
"So this is how democracy dies: With thunderous applause."
- Former Senator Skygreen, later found guilty of treason and executed
This past week, the Europeian Intelligence Agency (EIA) attempted an attempt on President 
UPC's life, aiming for a coup d'état against the republic, which has thankfully been dealt with in swift succession by the ERN. Hours later, President UPC announced in a speech his intentions of establishing order and security through a reorganization of the Republic into an Empire, with himself on the throne.
On April 1st, leader of the EIA Kazaman marched into the chambers of the president with one goal in mind: To assassinate the president and establish himself as the sole ruler of Europeia. However, in the midst of intense monologuing to UPC in which he revealed his entire plan to usurp the Republic, ERN forces quickly ambushed the nefarious head of the EIA, rescuing the president from a grim fate. Unfortunately, the attempt on UPC's life left the president in poor health, which he would later remark in a speech, stating "The attempt on my life has left me scarred and deformed. But I assure you, my resolve has never been stronger!"
In his speech later that same day of April 1st, UPC would note the massacre of the EIA across the archipelago, calling the act as a "preventative measure" against future attempts at rebellion. UPC would then go on to announce the imminent reorganization of the republic into the First Europeian Empire, claiming the act as a measure to "ensure security and continuing stability..." as well as to "...uphold the principles of the republic." Long live our new Emperor UPC, and death to tyrants!
Read the full speech from your state-sponsored news source: The EBC!
This and more is what you'll find featured in the weekly news!
This week is certainly quiet compared to others...
Is a Global Crisis Coming?
In the past few months, it has become apparent that more and more nations are starting to fall off the world stage. Once-great empires crumbling into ruin, as new powers fail to carry on the legacy of the fallen. And from the perspective of the anarchists, it all seems to point towards a future of devastation, a world of chaos with no order or security to keep it intact. The true apocalypse, they call it.
So how will this once-stable land of republics, empires, confederations -- fall into darkness and despair?
It all begins with the Germans.
The German Empire had long since been on the decline, no longer the great superpower they were just a short while ago. The internal organization had slowly stripped more and more power away from the monarchy. On February 12th, the aging empire was dealt the final nail in the coffin, when the Kaiser announced the Empire's official withdrawal from major world politics. In reality, it was very different. The Kaiser had lost all control of the nation to the elite, who then began to tear apart at each other for the emperor's throne. As the nobility clashed, the Empire lost its hold on territories, ripping the former empire apart. Westportland was "ceded" back to Puggersland. Ostland was split off as an independent nation once more. When the dust finally settled, all that remained of the former empire was a small rump state centralized in Berlin, a shell of its former self.
Gertyx would be the next to collapse. Following the Uncilttakian Civil War and the disastrous "Operation Sunlight", the once-shining military force that was the Tsardom had fallen upon hard times. Spiteful survivors of the war would radicalize the people against the incompetent government that couldn't even capture a single city. The morale of the people were at an all-time low. But true calamity would come in the Second Great War against the still formidable German rump state. Horrific casualties would quickly amass on both sides, and that was it. The people and armies of both sides would rebel. In Gertyx, the people would take up arms against their seemingly incompetent Tsar. Fighting would ravage the cities, as the Tsar and his family fled his own kingdom on his boat, only to be lost in a storm offshore. Without a rightful heir to take up the mantle, Gertyx would fall into anarchy.
Speaking of the Uncilttakian Civil War, despite the significant decrease of actual fighting, the war would still rage on. Clotos and Nocos would inevitably fall, and the Monarchists would take hold of the country. The Monarchy would prove ineffective in rebuilding the war-torn country, and over the ages, life in Uncilttakia would fall into despair. While the Kingdom would not completely collapse like the other countries, it would slowly erode away from the inside until the people would finally break.
This general feeling of chaos would take hold of the world, infecting the nations still untouched by the wave of revolutions. As the world continues to drag on as it is, it will eventually collapse in on itself with revolts, wars, and human greed. Soon, Europeia will be nothing more than a vast swath of wasteland...
At least, that is what the Anarchists predict. Perhaps in the end, Europeia will emerge more stable than before the waves of destruction. Perhaps it really will collapse in on itself. But only time shall tell if this prediction will soon become a reality...
Contact
Weeklingz Federation if you have any questions, and don't forget to ping him if you want your RP in the news!
