The East PacificBoard

Saint Cinder wrote:

Yes, and I say "omg how did you tie this you don't even have fingers?" as I snatch it from their dirty little flippers

You snatch the gift just in time to avoid getting your fingers caught in the blaze. The other two gifts have been revealed as a stuffed goblin and a chocolate caek. Do you still open it?

Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich wrote:

I Konsume the gifts

Denied. You used all your action points for the next five sessions on Konsuming the goat back in the city of Aizermenia.

Saint Cinder wrote:

Yes, and I open it with my back to Kaiser because I know that dude is sketchy.

You eagerly tear open the frail cardboard and ribbon to reveal a truly wondrous surprise.

A bomb!

Rocks fall, everyone dies. Everyone, roll up a new character sheet.

Pakitsk wrote:

You eagerly tear open the frail cardboard and ribbon to reveal a truly wondrous surprise.

A bomb!

Rocks fall, everyone dies. Everyone, roll up a new character sheet.

Divine intervention, I am the God of Bears, Cinder is alive with 1 hp.

Wersh wrote:

Divine intervention, I am the God of Bears, Cinder is alive with 1 hp.

Ugh, fine. Everyone lives with one HP. There is a door to the next room. Do you open it?

Aivintis wrote:

I eat the caek, penguin, and goblins.

Too late. You're alive with one hit point and about to enter the next room. Keep up next time, Jerry.

Aivintis wrote:

I eat the next room.

Surprisingly, the next room is too large to fit in your stomach. You succeed, however, in consuming the entirety of the door to it, revealing its contents. Everyone, roll for perception.

Pakitsk wrote:

Surprisingly, the next room is too large to fit in your stomach. You succeed, however, in consuming the entirety of the door to it, revealing its contents. Everyone, roll for perception.

11.

Plus one.

So 12.

Aivintis wrote:

11.

Plus one.

So 12.

In the next room, you see three roasted penguiblins, the remnants of a stuffed gobliguin and a vanilla caek, and a suspiciously untouched bombshell, fuse still unlit. Some further exploration reveals the bodies of three adventurers under fallen rocks on the far side of the room.

Pakitsk wrote:

In the next room, you see three roasted penguiblins, the remnants of a stuffed gobliguin and a vanilla caek, and a suspiciously untouched bombshell, fuse still unlit. Some further exploration reveals the bodies of three adventurers under fallen rocks on the far side of the room.

I eat the bombshell.

I'm proud to announce that all zombies have been eradicated from the Empire of Horseshoes and Hand Grenades. Only a 577th of the original population remains, but I can still call it a victory.

I play Bard music that is a Midevial variation of the rick roll