The Ooooh what does this button do!? Channeling the inner DeeDee from Dexter's laboratory, now with mod powers and additional buttons to explore and push! of United Calanworie is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Lily Lacerta with an even hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, democratic population of 11.255 billion United Calanworieans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 89.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient United Calanworiean economy, worth a remarkable 1,243 trillion vapors a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 110,444 vapors, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political spontaneity takes a lot of planning, Saturday morning cartoons feature full frontal nudity, tough diplomacy is often best handled with a nutcracker, and courtrooms can be a little sketchy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United Calanworie's national animal is the essence, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

United Calanworie is ranked 20,739^th in the world and 368^th in The Communist Bloc for Lowest Crime Rates, with 89.13 law-abiding acts per hour.