The Armed Republic of Bartha is a huge, safe nation, remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, avant-garde cinema, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 470 million Barthans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Garwin. The average income tax rate is 66.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Barthan economy, worth 21.3 trillion Khords a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Beef-Based Agriculture, Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 45,360 Khords, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly, Loud Patriotic Music Day has been ranked the seventh best new holiday of the year, a degree in Leader Science with a Minor in Awesomeology starts many political careers, and children who can't memorize their multiplication tables are sent to the mines. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bartha's national animal is the wolf.

Bartha is ranked 52,867^th in the world and 2,864^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 71 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.