The Nomadic Peoples of Cannitan is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Sir Beans McCracken with an even hand, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, daily referendums, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate population of 3.495 billion Cannitanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Dolly Parton Dream-Village. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The Cannitanian economy, worth 216 trillion Fins a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Information Technology industry. Average income is 61,839 Fins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Kindergartners' favourite dance move is the stop-drop-and-roll, children who express a belief in Santa are labelled 'delusional cultists', millions of Cannitanians are excellent swimmers, and earthquake sirens are a leading cause of hearing loss. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cannitan's national animal is the Dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Giant Lasagna.

Cannitan is ranked 289,616^th in the world and 11,108^th in Osiris for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 2,782.79 Standard Monetary Units.