The United Socialist States of Cauchistan is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by István Yúgčade with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, ubiquitous missile silos, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.221 billion Cauchistanis are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Cauchigrad. The average income tax rate is 84.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Cauchistani economy, worth 179 trillion Krubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is fairly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 146,648 Krubles, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Blue sky thinkers are reminded that the firmament is actually more of a grey-ish colour, mouldy bread is served as an appetizer in many restaurants, 'Totally Not Partisan News' is a line item on the government budget, and István Yúgčade's used car is held together by bumper stickers that support the opposition. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cauchistan's national animal is the Wild Rock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Atheism.

Cauchistan is ranked 75,193^rd in the world and 502^nd in Europeia for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 50.99 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.