The United Socialist States of Cauchistan is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by István Yúgčade with an even hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, otherworldly petting zoo, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 1.144 billion Cauchistanis have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of St Cauchigrad. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Cauchistani economy, worth 166 trillion Krubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 145,626 Krubles, with the richest citizens earning 9.7 times as much as the poorest.

The Cauchistani delegation to the World Assembly is having a hard time convincing people that international law will "pay for itself somehow...", construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway, tombstones are ten feet high to accommodate the names of inhabitants, and constituents prefer a carrot and boomstick approach to dealing with politicians. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cauchistan's national animal is the Wild Rock, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Cauchistan is ranked 15,675^th in the world and 106^th in Europeia for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 9,050.5 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.