The Empire of Ctesiphonis is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Edward I with an iron fist, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical population of 18.058 billion Ctesiphonisians are ruled with an iron fist by the socialist government, which grants its people the freedom to do whatever they like so long as it doesn't involve getting richer than anybody else or challenging the government.

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. The average income tax rate is 82.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The Ctesiphonisian economy, worth a remarkable 1,015 trillion Denarii a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,254 Denarii, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cassocked priests and choirboys believe that what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors, criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, former gun owners are finding that brandishing paintball guns isn't as satisfying as the real thing, and hordes of unemployed lumberjacks have resorted to cutting down utility poles to satisfy their cravings. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ctesiphonis's national animal is the Giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Ctesiphonis is ranked 13,500^th in the world and 319^th in the Pacific for Safest, scoring 117.59 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.