The Holy and Corporate Empire of ElephantWarriorsUnite is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Barack SF Churchill with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, complete lack of public education, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 23.864 billion ElephantWarriorsUniteans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Elephantium City. The average income tax rate is 8.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient ElephantWarriorsUnitean economy, worth a remarkable 4,712 trillion Ponds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 197,474 Ponds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Veterans in wheelchairs are left waist-deep in rice paddies to gather grain, ElephantWarriorsUniteans wonder "if a tree falls in the woods with no credible witnesses, who wants to know?", children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, and ElephantWarriorsUnitean doors require a Ph.D. to open. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. ElephantWarriorsUnite's national animal is the Elephant, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Elephafism.

ElephantWarriorsUnite is ranked 40,719^th in the world and 2,558^th in Balder for Lowest Crime Rates, with 77.4 law-abiding acts per hour.