The Radioactive Republic of Esqui is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its infamous sell-swords, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 881 million Esquiens are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and International Aid are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Viol. The average income tax rate is 68.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Esquian economy, worth 107 trillion Couronnes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is extensive. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 122,202 Couronnes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Workers have their fruitcake and eat it too, citizens are grown in vats, trust-fund babies line up for places in community college, and skateparks can be found in every city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esqui's national animal is the Lark, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Esqui is ranked 62,203^rd in the world and 44^th in Arctica for Highest Food Quality, scoring 30.26 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.