The Absolute Psychotic Republic of Jaslo is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Ola Zych with an iron fist, and remarkable for its public floggings, prohibition of alcohol, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 2.781 billion Jasloans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Jaslo FD. The average income tax rate is 82.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Jasloan economy, worth 308 trillion Złoties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 111,058 Złoties, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Peer pressure from cooler world leaders directs Jasloan government policy, Ola Zych spends weekends doing the laundry of foreign leaders, baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks, and atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jaslo's national animal is the águila, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is ateísmo.

Jaslo is ranked 255,966^th in the world and 1,178^th in Europe for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -7.3 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.