The Federal Republic of Klovak is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Matej Muhoberac with an iron fist, and notable for its ban on automobiles, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, cynical population of 5.858 billion Klovaks are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fedorgrad. The average income tax rate is 89.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Klovakian economy, worth 817 trillion Kožas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 139,512 Kožas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Matej Muhoberac's reputation is hard as nails, Max Barry is this year's Miss Klovak, soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets, and the government considers it a sacred duty to video bikini-clad beach swimmers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Klovak's national animal is the Antelope, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Klovak is ranked 22,732^nd in the world and 555^th in The East Pacific for Safest, scoring 112.61 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.