The Federal Chiefdom of Kyraina is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Chief Eligor with an even hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and compulsory military service. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 26.17 billion Kyrainians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Juneau. The average income tax rate is 66.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Kyrainian economy, worth a remarkable 2,195 trillion Golden Bears a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 83,877 Golden Bears, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shady doctors seem to have impeccable records, the nation's smallest Brown Bearball teams trade draft picks for a free lunch, ten-year-olds regularly found their own political parties, and in a fit of passion Chief Eligor has shredded thirty years' worth of petitions. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kyraina's national animal is the Brown Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Paganism.

Kyraina is ranked 56,188^th in the world and 39^th in Hell for Lowest Crime Rates, with 72.71 law-abiding acts per hour.