The Republic of Noristoniaka is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Ivan Talvenpoigu with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, pith helmet sales, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 7.492 billion Karjalans enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Petroskoi. The average income tax rate is 97.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Karelian economy, worth a remarkable 1,594 trillion rublas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 212,862 rublas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Police detectives carry phrenology calipers as part of their standard kit, the government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru, asthmatics can now suffer the effects of polluting chimneys from further away than ever before, and forgetting to pay your annual passport bill is a leading cause of deportations. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noristoniaka's national animal is the eider, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Noristoniaka is ranked 4,800^th in the world and 101^st in Europe for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,397.98 pounds of wildlife per square mile.