The Tsardom of Unogonduria is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Asparuh II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.866 billion Unogondurs are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Veliki Bulgar. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Unogondurian economy, worth 424 trillion Kanə Motunəs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 148,154 Kanə Motunəs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The roar of the Niagara 3000 mega-loo can be heard several blocks away, every diamond ring sold is accompanied by a twenty-five page analysis and a waiver, road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans, and heart attack victims are thrown onto the rails. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Unogonduria's national animal is the Omnidens, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Bulgar Orthodox Christianity.

Unogonduria is ranked 9,825^th in the world and 88^th in Europeia for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 55.65 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.