The Federal Republic of Asakalia is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Grand Chancellor Charles Albert with an even hand, and notable for its hatred of cheese, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cheerful population of 13.532 billion Asakalians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mediopolis. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Asakalian economy, worth a remarkable 2,075 trillion Kronor a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 153,348 Kronor, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Both criminals and civilians are DOA, dynamite sales and concert audiences are booming, Grand Chancellor Charles Albert can't hear a thing when the unwashed masses throw rocks at the new state limousine, and escaped birthday balloons are torpedoed out of the sky. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asakalia's national animal is the Double Headed Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Asakalia is ranked 285,262^nd in the world and 24^th in ITALIA for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -17.53 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.