The Democratic Socialist State of Cachard Calia is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Jane Fisher with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.536 billion Cachard Calians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lesbiana. The average income tax rate is 97.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Cachard Calian economy, worth 675 trillion gaylis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 191,033 gaylis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Tourists are forbidden to enter Native Cachard Calian lands, the Party has more splits than a yo-yo dieter's trousers, weather forecasts are accurate but nobody has the bandwidth to view them, and people often get liposuction to reduce their air fares. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cachard Calia's national animal is the Queer Democratic Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Cachard Calia is ranked 137,140^th in the world and 84^th in Gay for Largest Populations, with 3.54 billion capita.