The People's Republic of Cardmania9008 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 10.999 billion Cardmania9008ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 79.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Cardmania9008ian economy, worth a remarkable 2,376 trillion Deneroes a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an amazing 216,060 Deneroes, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 930,545 per year while the poor average 32,009, a ratio of 29.1 to 1.

Intoxicated AI mobile platforms are sometimes seen crashing through windows instead of being crashed by them, it is now illegal for teens to view any sites except Club Kitten and My Little Donkey, Cardmania9008ians suffer not the eggplant emoji to live, and TV coverage of music festivals consists mostly of backstage interviews. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cardmania9008's national animal is the ardvarke, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Cardmania9008 is ranked 270,069^th in the world and 2^nd in Greater Xumia for Most Primitive, scoring -241.01 on the Scary Big Number Scale.