The People's Republic of Ciggie Smallistan is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Ixus with an iron fist, and renowned for its avant-garde cinema, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 4.325 billion Ciggie Smallistanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of OOO-FS. The average income tax rate is 74.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Ciggie Smallistanian economy, worth 525 trillion ISKS a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 121,566 ISKS, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Pilots always remember to send their doctors a Maxxmas card, only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens, nobody is allowed to stop the local daycare from reading Nietzsche to pre-schoolers, and the nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ciggie Smallistan's national animal is the Rat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Hammerite.

Ciggie Smallistan is ranked 250,974^th in the world and 8,581^st in Balder for Most Primitive, scoring -154.42 on the Scary Big Number Scale.